I made a salad and ate. I started a new story. This time a woman gets cheated on again after 7 years and breaks up with her boyfriend. She wallows and her bff comes over to cheer her up. She has tickets to see her favorite band. Plus back stage passes.
I get back stage and see the lead singer whom I have crushed on for years and don't quite know what to say. He approaches we have small talk. I invite him to get a cubano with me. There is an instant physical attraction right off the bat. But he's a cool guy. Ex junkie and alcoholic. He's clean so he's pretty chill on the road. He's so smitten with me that he invites me to go on tour with him. He'd hand me his black card and tell me to go shopping for clothes to wear. He had something planned that night after his show. He ended the show early because he didn't see me in the front row. He was angry about it. I had words with some of his groupies who were in the section, so to not put hands on the bitches I chose to leave and go backstage. He'd take me on a date to get Persian food that night. Most of which was delivered to the hotel because we couldn't keep our hands off of eachother. Tons of sex, but then I decide we need to knock off the sex and get to know each other for real. We pass through Virgina and he shows me a park where he was homeless for 6 months when he landed in the states. (he's English) He bathed in the public toilet and washed his clothes there. He ate out of grocery store garbage cans. They threw away wrapped food every day. He wrote songs in the park and slept on a bench at night. It was pretty intense. He had a rough childhood, and was born addicted to drugs. But now was the head of a huge band. He rented a cabin for us to stay in over the Christmas holidays. He was a great cook, he'd cook some fantastic meal everyday. We went ice skating and I fell pretty bad. He took me to the hospital. We hot tubbed and watched Christmas movies. I gave him a gift of my journal from age 12 to 22. Much of what was in there was about him. We'd cuddle by the fire at night. He'd give me the key to his apartment in London and ask me to move in with him. I was hesitant as I had just gotten out of a live in relationship. My hesitation upset him. I figured we'd try it out for three months and then see how it was going. He said that would work. We seem to be getting very close, and connected. I have to wait an hour for the next round of chapters.
I
At dinner I got to ask about the origins of some of his songs. He talks about times when he tried to kill himself but didn't. That's why I am clutching my chest with that look on my face.
The top pic is in the limo to get cubanos. He's flirting HARD!
It's funny how caught up I get in these stories. But I can't say they haven't motivated me in a weird way to get in gear. The way the sex is described, is the kind I wish I was having. Some dude dipped in gold lavishing attention on you and taking you to cool places, yes please! It's a little embarrassing and a tiny bit humiliating. But it passes the time. I like to read anyway. It's just a new interactive medium.
later_____
This story has got me all kinds of fucked up. Like on the verge of fucking tears and shit. The band was playing new years rockin eve in NY, and at the last minute he was told that he is performing a song with one of his exes who's a pop star (married) pop star. She makes a point to rub my face in it backstage. I am annoyed he didn't say anything. He only found out right before the show. Afterward I asked him about it. He said he was sorry for not telling me. We get stuck in massive traffic in the limo and make out. We manage to make it back to the hotel room and undress and make love all night.
In the am he isn't in bed. I am looking everywhere for him. He's not in the room. There is a card and a piece of paper that says 'have a good life' with his name. He leaves his black card. I'm stuck on stupid. I break down. I fly back home to Miami. A couple of months go by. I am crashed out on my bffs couch. My other ex has taken over my place so I can't go back there. My parents aren't speaking to me because I broke up with a rockstar. HE LEFT ME! I am in all kinds of emotional pain. I try and go to a party with the bff but I am so sad I can't have fun. I go back to the house and try and sleep. Before I do I decide I have to try to get him back. In the am I tell my bff my plan. She's been keeping tabs on his travels and tells me he's in Vegas. We get a flight to vegas. When we are in the lobby bff spots the band in the lobby too. He sees me, stands and stares and walks away. There is a chick in the band who comes over to say whats up. She's mad cool. The people at the front desk are busy on the phones and haven't spoken to us. The cool chick invites us to stay in her room. Bff accepts. We decide to go to a strip club. (the band chick is gay) It's not really my thing. They see I'm preoccupied so they tell me to go find him. She tells me what room he is in. I go back to the hotel and get in a crowded elevator. Last one in. As the people clear out I realize he is the last person in the elevator. I tell him how leaving me a note made me feel. But I pointed out that he left the key to his apartment. I take it out to give it back, he presses it back into my hand and says he missed me so much. We kiss. We're back in bed again for the day. We get into the giant bath and I try and talk to him and get answers about WHY he left. He's not that forth coming. I tell him he's got to fight for me. I leave and go look for my friends. They are passed out in band girls room and won't answer their phones. I go to the hotel bar. I need a root beer. The bartender knows who I am and is aware of the breakup. One of dudes bandmates sees me at the bar and needs to lash out at me. How I broke dude and how I left him a shell. How he was better on drugs and drinking than without me. I guess homie didn't know I wasn't the one who wanted out. I leave the bar and sit by the pool. I'm upset naturally. I put my feet in the pool and wonder if he will fight for us. I feel him behind me. He tells me that he doesn't want to be without me. He uses the word FOREVER and pulls out a box.
Naturally it's the end of the scene and a 2 hour break!!!!!
ARG!!!!!! I really hope there is a ring in that box.
ARG!!!!!! I really hope there is a ring in that box.
later.
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