Yes the box was a ring.
I said yes.
We are getting married.
But something popped up in the story that jogged a memory of mine.
The guy in the story is a rockstar and ex junkie and alcoholic. He has mentioned that I am his addiction. His bandmate said that when we weren't together it was worse than when he was using. My boos sponsor says that the relationship is doomed because I am his reason for living. That it's a co dependent relationship, and that he's just replaced drugs with me.
I remembered a relationship I got into in my early 20s with a guy who had been smoking weed since he was 9. He was 19 when I met him. He told a friend that he liked me, and the friend knew I didn't like guys who smoked weed. (my ex did and that's why I have the rule to this day) So he said he would stop. All of his friends were pot smokers. He would later realize that had he not smoked pot, none of them would be his friends. He wouldn't even know them. That went for just about everyone he knew. We would stop by to see them one day and they were stunned by how animated he was. They had NEVER seen him that way. They thought it was good. He didn't see them that often.
Over time I would learn about addiction and how it works. If you watch television and look at the eyes of the actors their pupils are almost always dilated. When a man is aroused same thing. Same thing happens when a person does drugs. The same part of the brain is accessed. That's why sex can be an addiction. The pleasure part of the brain is taken over. He stopped weed and replaced it with sex. If I wasn't in the mood he would become abusive and relentless until I gave in. He needed a fix and wouldn't let me rest till he got it. It was hell. It made me not want to be with him.
I see similar things happening in the story. Except the rockstar doesn't verbally abuse me if I am not in the mood. I had cramps and he took care of me and rubbed my tummy. We have a ton of sex in the story. Championship level sex. Which is cool for a romance. I can't help but wonder how it will hold up in a marriage. We are still madly in love and planning a wedding. Which he has helped with as well. (shocking!) He seems like he's going to be an amazing loving caring husband.
I think this story is warping my brains.
He calls me dove because he says I bring him peace. Doves are a symbol of that. The top is me crying after he asks me to marry him. The bottom is that night at his concert. He pulls me on stage and makes the 'announcement'. It's pretty fucking emotional stuff. He's crazy sweet. But besides that he's a straight shooter. He will not lie. You ask him a question, he tells you the truth about it, and doesn't sugar coat or beat around the bush. That's refreshing as fuck. He says what's on his mind. He doesn't pretend shit. You wish guys were like this IRL.
But I can't help but wonder. How things will turn out in the future for these characters.
I may be acting like a middle aged love starved housewife reading romance novels and falling for the hero in the story. But at least I am staying true to my rock roots while doing it. LOL!
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