Sunday, July 15, 2018

Not surprising but still annoying

So the first ghost that looked me up on FB about 8 weeks ago has not made contact the way I would like. I chilled. But then I started to wonder WTF is the hold up. It was he's broke, or the car doesn't work. Or the car won't make the trip, which is a long one. He doesn't want to take 2 busses and 2 trains to get here and the same back. I'm not worth the trouble I guess. I made the trip to get an aux cord from him. 

He's the gold standard in bed. He's the best I'd ever had in California. But the waiting months is pissing me off.

I ask what's up.

He gives me some story about how he feels a little guilty because he's sort of dating someone.

WTF?

If you are dating someone then why look me up?

He wasn't dating her 8 weeks ago.

This is fuckboy bullshit.

He didn't want a relationship with me way back when. Fine. But then he looks me up after two years. But then starts 'dating' someone else AFTER he's already talking to me but then feels some type of way toward her even though I was here first.

I want so much more than this.

I don't know what to do.

I feel like I have to be someone else.

Turn into someone else.

REALLY.

I went and got juice and stuff for the cleanse.

I feel like I have to transform into someone else in order to get any respect.

I am so tired of being treated like an afterthought.


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