Of course the day I decide to not text he calls me. He says "I'm gonna stop fucking with you." Of course my heart sank. I asked what he meant. He says 'You didn't wake me up this morning.' Oh that. Things are like they always were. He calls while he's working. But last night I said 'ok boo' and he said 'no boo, thanks'. So I said Ok Nobu. So now I will call him Nobu. He's acting like I can't be flirty and affectionate toward him. We will have to discuss that.
Anyhoo back to me.
I went to the doctor yesterday and got on the scale.
296 lbs.
my heart is broken. 4 more pounds and I will weigh 300lbs!
How did this happen????
Before I moved into my apartment I was 276. Now I have gained 20lbs. It was being depressed and eating tons of ice cream and pizza. Pizza rolls and wings. Doing what is easy rather than what is right. I think a car would keep me on the right track.
I am devastated. I was depressed for the rest of the day. I just started my TLC diet a week ago. This tells me I haven't lost a single pound. But I haven't changed my eating. I have had a 6 inch sub, chips and cookies every day last week. I ate some chocolates. I had a couple donuts. I have to drastically change how I eat if I want this weight to come off. I thought I would be one of those 20lbs a month women. But not having lost a pound is not a good start. I want to lose 146lbs. If I only did 5 lbs a month it would take me over 2 years to lose the weight. Could I be satisfied at 200? Probably.
I have to find a strategy that works. I can't keep failing. I want a relationship.
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