Weekend Warrior

The next day I was so tired I felt like crying. I only got two hours of sleep. He slept on my side of the bed so I had to crawl over him when my alarm went off. I got dressed and he slept. Normally the next morning I like to have morning sex then make breakfast, but there was no time for that. I was overwhelmed with tiredness and emotions.

I woke him up and he got dressed quickly and took me to work. We didn't talk the whole way there. I fought the urge to touch his leg as he drove. I was still in shock. We stopped so I could get lunch, then he took me to the front door of work. I gave him a kiss. He told me last night was like a fantasy. I said it was for me too. All day I thought about him. I had to leave to go to Hollywood and the traffic was insane it took two hours to get there on the bus. I was a wreck by the time I got there. The show went well, smooth. But by the end I was loopy. I went home and slept. R and I text through the day but we were both working so we didn't get a chance to talk. He was as tired as I was. 

Saturday I had to spend the whole day in Hollywood at the theater. We text more back and forth. He left voice mails which when I listened to his voice I smiled. I was burnt by the end of the night. I got home late and crashed. Sunday I had one day. Two shows. R had church then an event where a friend of his was screening a movie. Then he would drive some. I text him my movements then when I got home. It was ten when I got home. I text that I was laying down. I fell asleep right away. I got up around 12:30am to go to the bathroom and saw he text at 12:15 that he was wrapping up driving and going to bed he'd talk to me later and nite nite.

I am anxious.

I am a little scared. That I made a huge mistake. I shouldn't have let it happen. I should have said NO and made him leave. But I wanted him so badly. I want to be in love with him. I have never fit this way with a man in my life. I have never had this kind of synergy with someone. I want to love him completely. I want that chance. But I have to wait to see him again.

so anxious.