Nail, Coffin

The weekend was approaching and the time to face the music was here. I wasn't going to go in hot. Just be matter of factly about things. 

I ended up speaking to him on the phone about the whole instagram #, he had some slick excuse for it. How the hashtag was supposed to be a catch all meaning 'no big deal' in Japanese. But the # goes to this girls page. 

I don't care that much so I dropped it.

He started talking about going to the movies and also shutting the shop to attend my event on Sunday. I was like 'what'. He was like, 'Yeah, that's something I need to do.' I was surprised. He's going to support my event? Hmmmm. Maybe he's seen the error of his ways?

But I will test him out, with some affection when I see him and see if he still pulls away or if he leans in.

I got to the shop. He had been telling me about this burger place up the street. I was hungry so I did a food run. It was a cute black owned place. But for lunch it was like $32. He had chicken alfredo fries, I had a turkey burger and a lemonade, and then we had two milkshakes. A little pricey.

We ate and then a couple of chain jerkers came by. I watched a movie on my computer and he sat down next to me. I rubbed his back while we watched the movie. He makes a comment that I am petting him like a pet. Am I waiting for him to purrrrrrrr. I said no. It was like he couldn't understand why I was rubbing his back. He even made a joke that the customers that came by didn't buy because I was touching him. They were guys, but one had a girlfriend that he wanted to get a portrait of on his shirt. He seemed a little geeked so I wasn't betting he would come back.

But it just seemed like an offhanded joke about how me touching him wasn't a good thing. 

Just one more nail in the coffin.

The alfredo gave him the itis, so then he started falling asleep. He went into the corner of the shop for a while and slept. Left me to manage the counter. No one came so no big deal.

When we left that day his mom was waiting to pick him up. He reiterated that he was coming to my event the next day. We went over the time. He gave me a polite kiss good bye.

Later that night I started having anxiety about him coming. That he would make a fool of me in front of my friends by not wanting to touch me. Or chatting up some younger thinner woman and making me look silly. It was a nightmare. He mentioned also that it was perfect that I had my event in Hollywood, because a friend of his band was playing later that night. Cool.

The next day he texted in the morning. But I was busy doing laundry and picking my outfit. My phone was acting up a bit, but I did text him the address and time. I didn't have power till I got to the theater. When my phone came back on there was no message.

We had a pretty full house, and a guy that I had been crushing on showed up, plus some other handsome men.

The film came and went and he never showed. We went to dinner later. My crush joined us and I sat with him. We had a great time at dinner, and I really was happy to see my crush. I didn't miss painter guy at all.

When I got in my car I checked my phone.
"SMH. Left early and took a nap when you sent this text."

Meaning the address and time.

But I text to ask if he made it to his friends show. He had.

So I wasn't really on the radar.

He has made himself abundantly clear. 

I can't anymore.

The End.