another one of THOSE articles...

It is always puzzling why a site geared toward black women posts articles that basically say why were going to die alone.
These same articles underline how in the on line dating scene, we are the LEAST desired EVEN by black men. It's one of those things that you want to call bullshit upon; but when you are living it there isn't much you can scoff at.

It's funny how you are single, and meet other single people and can see why they are single as well. They will most likely stay single longer than you will, because they don't get what they are doing wrong. It's awkward to say 'Hey fella, if you DIDN'T talk about this on a date, that would be good.' I mean it makes you into the bossy critical bitch that he was sure you would be anyway. It's funny how you go on date, they say and do a bunch of crap that turns you completely off; and you just stop speaking to them and go on to the next one. They might call, you avoid or make excuses. But you don't ever tell them the truth. If they knew the truth, maybe they could make the decision to change their behavior that is chasing women away. Or not.

Case in point. I go out with a nice guy. But I notice he has a band on his ring finger with jewels across it. Looks like a wedding band. I don't mention it. On our three dates he brings up his ex wife on each one. He tells me a story about taking her to Vegas to see Michael Jackson when she was married to someone else after their divorce? This is not a story you tell to a woman you just start dating. I finally ask about the wedding band and he tries to explain it away like it's nothing. I smelled bullshit. He of course started making excuses after that why he couldn't spend time with me. But none of them were 'I'm still hung up on my ex wife.'

Men don't get that talking about their exes or other women they have dated in general, especially in a negative light isn't a good look. I get that women do it too. It's not a good look there either. These people don't realize by doing so they are saying 'I HAVE BAGGAGE!' I would rather not compete.

Of course I want to find that cool, earthy, funny, intelligent, employed (or successful business owner) who is attractive to me, a snappy dresser, emotionally stable, generous kind and good in bed. Who doesn't live with his parents, and who can take you to decent adult dates regularly. 

But I would be lying if I didn't say that there are times that I feel because of the overall consensus against my race and gender that somehow I don't warrant the normal dating ritual. Netflix, fast food and pressure for sex is all you can really expect. Sometimes not even that. There seems to be this attitude sometimes that they don't have to do any work. Like guys date you because they are out of options, and or because they heard black women are promiscuous and they want to have sex. Either way, I am not a person. The message that is beamed out is that I am not lovable, I am not worthy to be a mate. I am only to be used and thrown away.

A person reading this could say I am whining, or allowing assholes to dictate the quality of my life. I could see how you would think that. I guess that's why I started writing this down. Because I want it to stop. I want to make the effort to change in order to attract the relationship I want to be in.

I observe and take in information. Analyze and wonder. Maybe entertain myself with the experiences in the meantime.