Stifled of course

So I was waiting and waiting for the big chunk of my taxes to arrive. $349. Waiting and waiting. That was supposed to pay my internet bill, pay my re sellers licence, and my diet program. These things are mad important. I can't run a website with no internet. I have to get this weight off so I have a better chance at being hired someplace. The re seller is so I can make money on my own. Honestly so I can just start building businesses on my own and stop begging for pennies. Stop worrying if I have the wrong shoes, or nail polish or if the person interviewing me doesn't like black people or people who are overweight. I need to be building my own brand. Creating and getting my shit out there. Being my authentic self. 

I am so sick of this shit!
I CANT DO IT ANYMORE!

I lucked out and got on with a trade show company and I will be working 20 hours with them at $15 an hour for three days. I will be paid next week. So I can pay my internet and get the re seller licence. Then I will start selling. The money I make from there I will pay for my diet program. 

I had enough money to get a loaf of bread. I have peanut butter and I have butter. I can take peanut butter sandwiches to work. All I have is lettuce and pickles and cup o noodles. I have salad dressing. I have a can of fruit cocktail. I wonder if I went across town to the food bank if I could just get 2 packs of meat and some noodles and sauce. That's all that was edible last time. I couldn't go till like Tuesday.