Only them

I had dinner with K last night after our event. I mentioned the chocolate cake incident to him. He was of course team Rob saying that I should have eaten the cake and thanked him for it. He was trying to do a nice thing. Yeah, but it was vegan cake. I ate as much as I could, till I couldn't anymore. The message that I got was 'pretend you like it so you don't hurt his feelings.' Which is a theme of womanhood all over the world. Don't hurt a man's feelings. Be uncomfortable, inconvenienced, unsatisfied, short changed, and accept less because you don't want to hurt his feelings. 

Again, Rob and I are not dating! He is a friend. Why must I behave in a way that a girlfriend would? 

Rob continually crosses boundaries with me as well, and I am starting to really not be that crazy about it. He made jokes on speaker phone to a person in Atlanta about picking me up from my job at the strip club. Really wasn't feeling that.

He asked where I was coming from the other day. I don't like when he asks where I have been. That's a boyfriend question. I may have said clinic. He took it and ran and then we were talking about me being at the gynecologist office. Inappropriate. 

There was the hair conversation / debate. Not his place ever. Boyfriend or not.

Then today it was 'I bet you are bossy in bed.' "yall need to know when to shut up and take it." Too far. I tried to have a casual attitude, and laugh stuff off. But now I am getting tired of him consistently crossing boundaries. He doesn't have a clue what I am like intimately. At all. I got angry that he would assume something about me. He is the one that is always bossy, not me. It's like he likes me, but doesn't want to come out an say he does, and say he wants to date me. It's like he is playing games with me, trying extract information without asking clear pointed questions. I am getting to the point where I feel like I have to sit him down and talk this out with him, because it's getting to be problematic; and making me feel some type of way toward him.

But it seems like this is the state of black men and women. We can't communicate. We criticize. Men are taught subconsciously that they are above reproach. They are not to be questioned. If I talk to him about how what he says makes me feel, that's a 'see, that's why you aint got a man' moment. I get tired of when I tell a man no, being attacked. If I have boundaries, I am being a bitch or frigid. I don't like when men use you as entertainment. They want to know all your business, know about your sex life and the like but still put you in the friend zone. I don't play that shit. I have had tons of male friends over the years, and they respect the boundaries that I set. This one here is acting like he has a crush and doesn't want to man up about it. He calls me 2 and 3 times a day sometimes. A boyfriend does that. If we aren't dating, I don't want to talk to you three times in one day. I aint feening for you like that.