Rainy

Watching A Ben Stiller movie where he has this inner dialogue about his personal life choices. 

Now, he is a middle aged man who is taking his son to college in Boston. He's gotten into Harvard. 

They live a pretty nice middle class life. Live in a nice white suburb and want for nothing. He's coveting people who have millions and billions of dollars. Who have private planes and preferential treatment everywhere they go.

Why wasn't that him?

He had friends in college who hooked up and were power hungry. Who were competitive and over achievers. He says at one point his wife was always so content with whatever she had. He says in his head 'Was her contentment holding me back?'

Later he flips it and realizes his son is an amazing human. That if he was some rich guy his kid could have turned out spoiled and entitled. That's the upside. His kid is grounded and pretty normal. 

But....

When they get to the interview his son realizes he got the wrong day and that he was a day late. Dad loses it. He can interview back in California with an alumni. The son is cool with it but his dad won't let it go. He's insistent that they get their interview. The son is trying to calm his dad down. His dad is screaming 'Your a white kid from the suburbs, without a sob story and you aren't a legacy! We are the underdogs here! No! No! No! No!' So he obsessively tries to think of who he knows that he can call to help him get his son in. He only knows one guy. Whom he's tried to do business with in the past and simply blew him off years prior. So now he has to call this asshat for help with Harvard.

I guess this is real shit. You have to grovel sometimes. He calls the dude and he's living in Hawaii with two women he's developing a resort there on the island. Making more millions without even trying. He lets it slip that friends of theirs had gotten married, and he realizes he hadn't been invited to the wedding. In his head he thinks that the guestlist wasn't compiled out of friendship but out of perceived success. He was not on that list.

FUCK!

I guess I can understand his torture. Why not him? Why them? I guess we all go through that.

I am at the half way mark of my life and want to make a sharp turn into prosperity in a short period of time. I have to be a beast.

Insane beast.