People would say that many people meet their partner at work. Me not so much. But I have a lot of day to day contact with men. It's just they happen to be either Asian or Mexican. Which there is nothing wrong with at all for me. I would date either one. It's just that culturally it's difficult to be accepted into their circle.
The places I frequent are fashion and fashion oriented family owned businesses. You go in and there are usually several family members working there. I see these men several times a week. Sometimes chit chat or have a laugh. Talk about the weather or the game. Simple stuff. But one man struck me right away. I think because he was dressed so nicely in his street gear. He usually has a black and white theme. Always fresh to death. That is a big draw for me from the beginning. Then he spoke, and had a voice like honey. Just a bit taller than I am, and really into hip hop. Over time I have tried to observe him as much as I could in my short trips. Sometimes friends come by to visit, and they are almost always black like I am. He is Chinese. His friends seem to be all into something creative. Making music, taking pictures or designing. Which is refreshing. He mentioned he grew up in the next county so his 'old friends' have yet to meet his 'new friends.' He wasn't sure if they would mesh, which caused me to be pensive.
I know he drinks coffee, and might smoke cigarettes. I don't think he smokes trees, because he's way too clear. I don't think he's taken, and I don't think he's got kids.
He orders clothes from my company and my boss gives him a discount. We do heavy business with his company and run a tab for a month at a time. So deep discounts is the least we can do. Once I brought him something and got a good price, he said and I quote:
"I love you."
I said what? He said it again. I was like okayyyyyyy. I was a little embarased because I am pretty sure he has no idea I am feeling him.
The next time I bought something same thing, and a side hug. I was fluttery. I tried to hide it. I don't dress fancy for work. Just a t shirt and skirt and sandals. Usually no makeup because the shop is hell hot. My hair is usually wild and crazy. So he's seen me at my worst. I'll walk in and he'll say 'You look nice.' and offer a hug. I'm melty.
On Friday I had to call and ask a question about the minimum I had to bring in for him to work on. The same day my car was broken into and my beloved sewing machine was stolen. I was heartbroken. I cried a bit. But by the time I spoke to him that afternoon, it was passing. I mentioned it to him and he consoled me. 'I'm so sorry that happened.' I tried to change the subject by asking how he was doing and feeling. 'Much better now that you called.'
I froze. WHAT? I smiled. I giggled. "Awwww that's sweet." I said. But I wondered if he really meant that, or if he says it to everyone. I imagined that he meant it. That he was crushing on me as hard as I am crushing on him. I couldn't shake it all weekend. The whole weekend I fantasized about him. About us dating, and going places. About laying around listening to music all afternoon and talking and getting to know each other. I wondered what it would be like to kiss him. I was obsessed all weekend.
I had to drop off an order and try and have it rushed for the next day; so I thought to put on makeup, do my hair and put on my best push up bra so I could look as good as possible. I was cute as a button, and he tells me 'I look great.' and hugs me on the side like he always does. (those safe, non sexual harassment hugs) He looked much more sexy than I remembered. His skin looked so kissable. I never noticed the little mole by his eye. Suddenly I was studying everything about him. At one point a pen dropped on the floor under his chair. I grabbed onto his arm as I bent over to pick it up. Swoony.
We chatted about the weekend, and one of his friends came in and wanted to show him something he created over the weekend. But first needed to charge his phone. I wanted him all to myself, but alas he's working. He gave me my receipts and I told him I'd see him later. "You're the best, you're a prince." I always tell him.
I want this man to ask me out. But I don't know how to get him to ask. I know he has tons of friends of color, but IDK if he dates that way too. I am a few years older as well. I am physically attracted to him obviously. But I want to know who this guy is. If he has what it takes to be a good partner or not. Because if not, I need to pack up my feelings and move on.
In the meantime I'll feel like a heartbroken teenager.
*Sigh*
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