my heartbeat....

He is unbelievably gorgeous but in an earthy accessible way.

He takes care of his body, and he can dress himself. He also has a spiritual life. Alas he is forbidden fruit. Which should make him even more desirable. I guess on some level it does, but the risk is greater than the reward. When I move out I can say and do whatever I want. He always pays attention to me. Strikes up conversations, and engages me in some way. I would date him in a heartbeat if the choice were there. He's just what a woman like me wants. 

Denzel Washington is giving a lecture on Valentine's Day, and I want to go. But I have to find the money to travel. He wants to go too. Maybe we can have a day out. No one can know. There is pressure not to be seen flirting or interacting alone. It could threaten our housing. But it's nice to have a crush on someone.

I saw A after three months. He' s been in the hospital and had surgery. He had lost a bunch of weight. I felt like a giant next to him. We went out for lunch at denny's and visited. He finally bought a new car too. I love new car smell. I can't wait to have my own new car smell. We didn't get around to talking about sex tho.  Eventually we have to.